Online Dating Rules

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I wanted to talk today about online dating since it’s the thing that most people are getting involved in as a dating option to meet men.

If you’ve tried online dating and have had good or bad results, I’d love to hear from ya what your experience has been like.

I’ve tried online dating myself and I can tell you from personal experience that using it as both a personal and research experiment has given me some key insights into what you need to do to be successful.

Most women know how to respond AFTER they set up a date but many still struggle to get the attention of guys who are interested in them. If you have a profile online or thinking about putting up a profile here are some key tips:

1. Start with a fun username.

In my experiment, starting with a fun username tells a man alot of your personality and character. The username I had up got me up to 30 emails a day. In just a few weeks, I had over 150 emails plus from guys from all races/ethnic groups!

Think about how guys think. Men love to do two main things and most times they do not mix them together:

1. work

2. play

If your profile leads a man to think you’ll be too much work, it will decrease your chances of getting his attention or response because men think of their careers as work and not a relationship. If you’re wondering why you’re not having much success, it could be that your username communicates that you do not have a playful personality and men don’t see how much fun you’ll be if they were to get together with you. So I highly advise you to incorporate two unique words into your username:

Pick a word that is different, that sounds intelligently carefree and add the word “fun” to it. Try to stay away from something like:

“Deliciouslyfun” or BabeNfun”

But choose something intelligent and fun like: “eloquentfun”

2. Choose your pictures wisely. Men are more visual than we are and they will often spend time looking at your picture over reading your profile first. So your pictures must be recent, have good lighting, show you in a variety of settings, and great quality. I’ve gone over some pictures on profiles and those people should be embarrased to post those kinds of pictures when we are living in the most technologically advanced digital age known to mankind!

3. It’s better to add men as favorites/friends first over emailing them first.

It might sound a little old fashioned but adding a man to your favorites/friends list is more like smiling at him if you saw him at a party. It encourages him to approach you instead of you doing the pursuing. If a man makes it very specific that he’ll like you to email or drop him a line, try to use this technique: Think about a witty subject line that will pique his interest and make a witty and intelligent comment on something in his profile. If he seems interested and responds back, wait at least 1 day to reply to his mail because you don’t want to keep flowing in the role as the initiator but you want for the space you leave between emails to have it switch you into being pursued instead of chasing him!

This also applies to facebook or any kind of social media. Don’t think since it’s the digital age it means that he won’t mind if you are the one who jumps the gun and always initiate contacting him.

4. When he doesn’t ask you out after around 4 to 5 emails, leave him alone.

Don’t email him to find out if he still wants to meet up. If he wants to meet up, he would have made it clear. Some men will say they are a little gun shy or give you some BS line, but if you’ve been communicating for around 2 weeks and he’s still not making plans to meet, don’t waste your time.

5. If he leaves his number, make him call you.If you’ve been chatting with a guy who leaves his number and you feel comfortable with him, reply with an email.

Leave him a number you don’t mind giving out to get him to call you instead of you doing the heaving lifting and calling him.

It’s the same as dating offline. Don’t be the one collecting guys numbers and have to call them first. It will make you look like low value when you do. It is better to say “Thanks for the number, here’s mine, how about calling me when you’re free.”

6. The purpose of the phone call is for him to ask you out.

You may love chatting with him or hit it off on the phone but you really don’t know if you have REAL chemistry until you meet him face to face.

So opt for not sitting on the phone for hours chatting away when you could be setting up a great first meeting with him. Chemistry begins when you meet him face to face not when you’re chatting online or on the phone. End the call after 15 to 20 mins instead. That will give him the hint that you’re not about sitting on the phone chatting with a stranger but that you’d rather meet the real deal. If he hasn’t asked you out after your first chat, don’t email him online or call him just because you have his number. Wait for him to ask you out.

My friend Evan Marc Katz has been helping hundreds of women find the right guy online. Click the banner below to get started with your online dating success.