Pretty Sure I Lost This One

I know how much you may have tried to prevent yourself from acting needy and wondered why you couldn't seem to control yourself.

Let me help you understand something:

You know of smokers who are addicted to smoking because they are emotional/psychologically dependent as well as their physiology becomes hooked to wanting to puff that next cigarette?

Well the reason why someone starts smoking is because of a NEED to feel in control, loved, accepted etc.

It is similar when a woman gets hooked on a man she's attracted to and whose emotions get attached in a deep way because of her own unmet needs.

The smoker smokes to fulfill a need and the woman who can't seem to control her emotions reaches out to the man to fulfil a need.

Now if you were to go back into your life and try to figure out what kind of need you're trying to fill by constantly being needy and desperate that will help you get some awareness into the whole situation.

You're not pushing aggressively towards him because you're bad or stupid, you're doing it to fulfill a need and what drove you to do this are the feelings of "lack" within or the emptiness that is inside of you because of your unmet needs.

When you begin to get this kind of insight it will help you to stop trying to seek power from the outside but start cultivating your raw inner power so that you don't feel as though something or someone is responsible for filling you up.

You will not feel that you NEED him so bad that you'll do anything to get him.

The trick is…it is VERY and I mean VERY difficult to stop the obsessive seeking of power from the outside….because this mostly what women are taught to do PLUS their baggage makes them feel powerless.

I have been there time and time again, fell on my ass, felt like shit and went back into the same loser thinking, my life isn't working, no one loves me, I'm a failure at love shit kind of thinking.

It is not easy to switch patterns and start to build from within but this is what you must do or I guarantee that you will just find another fix after this dude or reach out to him again when your self-control can't hold you up anymore.

The patterns I'm talking about are deeply embedded inside your mind as beliefs. The feelings of being unworthy of love and therefore you need to chase it down no matter what.

When women feel the powerful emotion of attraction and have a leaky belief system, they will not have the power to control or manage the feelings of attraction.

The feelings of attraction control them instead of them being in control.

So this is why taking time to work on your inner beliefs will prevent you from failing again because inner power is way stronger than will power. Noticed that something inside of you was too powerful for your will power and you couldn't stay away, right??

Ok, so how do you build your inner power so that it will create the powerful foundation to stop this kind of mess in its track.

One of many ways to do so is to start by meditating 20 minutes a day.

I'm not going to go into the semantics of meditation and why it is so powerful but if you sit still, with your back straight, legs crossed and hands gently crossed together while focusing your mind on your breath, you will begin the momentum of creating your inner power.

Meditation brings you into a deeper awareness because it helps you to connect with who you really are – POWER ITSELF!

It is in the silence that you begin to get in touch with your true nature. Don't expect anything grand to happen like lights coming down from heaven, but do expect that if you commit to get in touch with your own power, it will eventually create the inner shift you need to be IN control of your thoughts and emotions and them not controlling you.

Initially, your mind will wonder off into countless random thoughts and you may find it hard to focus. You may being self blame, feel anxious, unsure, or uncomfortable but this is natural. If your mind begins to wander, bring it back to your breath. Note: you don't need to deep breath, you juse need to focus on your natural inhalation and exhalation.

Try it for 1 week if you want more power and let me know how it goes.

Love,
Nicole

 

P.S. My Good Friend Evan, a Dating Coach for Smart, Successful Women,  created a program that will help you get to the bottom of why a man disappeared and what to do about it.  Check out his program by Clicking Here