The Pull Back and the Push Pling…huh?
You meet this guy and you have an irresistible feeling of attraction towards him. You're hoping that he feels the same and wants to get to know you more. Or maybe you've been on a few dates with a guy and you're wanting him to move your relationship further, you're hoping he wants to be exclusive with you.
But it's not moving along the way you hoped.
How about if your husband or boyfriend is ignoring you, not being as attentive as he once was, and seem to have lost his passion for you?
I understand how it feels when you have all of your hopes up because of the attraction you feel for a man or a few prospects then end up getting disappointed over and over again. I understand how it feels when you love your husband/boyfriend and he's just not doing what you want. It makes you feel like screaming. You feel like knocking him out cold because he may appear aloof and insensitive.(well, maybe you don't feel so violent…I just had to be uber graphic here) LOL. While I am at it, I'm gonna keep going…
The idea of getting him in the ring and kick boxing the shit out of him may have crossed your mind…but you need to hold on to your horses before you get down to southland again with them dirty nuckles that keeps getting scraped up over how men behave.
Any man's nicely firmed butt can drive me insane with desire..in fact, I could spend the whole day looking at a guy's ass without taking a break to go to the bathroom..AND having a little dessert, that can wait too, however, I have learned the art of having my eyes planted firmly on a guy's backside without allowing his backside to grow a mouth and start dictating to me how the hell I should feel and what I should be doing with my life.
When you meet a prospect or if you are full on dating a man you're totally into, you are going to experience the pull back and the push pling!! Guaranteed. This also happens when you've been together for sometime. This is reality. It is a given. It is totally and completely out of your control. The key is "how to respond when this happens"
When this happens a man may:
1. Not call you back
2. Take a while to get back to you
3. Withdraw without explanation
4. Run hot and cold
5. Seem into you one minute and out of you the next
6. Not spend time with you as often as you'd like.
What you need to focus on is working on NOT being the crazy woman who gets wrapped up in your head so that you are looking at a man's ass for days then suddenly have the experience of it talking to you!
As much as you LOVE to wrap your head into a man's chest until you feel as though nothing else really matters in the world, here are some ideas if you find yourself losing it over a man who has withdrawn his interest or acting like his brain is the size of a peanut.
Remember, a man's "pull back" is a given. You have to build the emotional skills to know how to RESPOND. You cannot control his pull back, but you can control the way you respond to him. You will either respond in a mature and attractive manner or you'll have him think you're a crazy stalker who was repeatedly slashed with knives when you were a child.
Whenever a man pulls away or isn't doing what you want, there is something you must practise doing until it becomes a skill that is as natural as applying your lipstick.
Your first reaction to his "pull back" is what I can a "push pling" ….for those of you who hasn't learned how to speak Nicole, it sounds like you've been hit in the gut and you want to reach out to hold onto something to help you feel ok. A push pling is when you have an overwhelming desire to move towards a man because you are afraid that you will lose him. When you push towards him, a pling sound goes off in your subconsious mind that helps you to FEEL that isn't the right move to take, however, your feelings of attraction may act in defiance of the "pling" and cause you to engage in certain kinds of behaviors you know you wouldn't want your boss to know about.
When you refuse to pay attention to the pling, you may end up feeling: emotionally drained, exhausted, hurt, in despair,confused, frustrated, angry or plain old vengeful. If it gets real bad, you'll feel as though you want to cut his penis off and fry it up in order to serve it to crocodiles awaiting a nice meal.
Or maybe you want him to really suffer and cut his balls off too…while also fantasizing about throwing them in the ocean so sharks can eat em…just remember in your fantasy to not feed them to a vegan shark!
Here's the deal: In order to handle a man's withdrawal, you have to practise being the kind of woman who can manage your own emotions. Don't get all lovey dovey and start telling him feeling messages. That's Bullshit! You must manage yourself, not tell him you're scared because he will see this as manipulative. Have you ever read anything like this: "When you pull away, I feel scared. It makes me feel unsure because I don't know what's happening." This kind of lingo is for husbands and wives, not to be used while dating. Getting inside your heart, and getting into your girly energy so you can reach out to him isn't what you want to do.
You want to manage your emotions by shifting your stance. You shift your stance by shifting your thoughts and actions. You shift your actions with your thoughts. This is where your will comes in. Instead of thinking about the color red, begin thinking about the color blue and everytime the color red wants to take up space in your mind, use your will to shift your thoughts to the color blue until your mind learns that blue is what you want to think about!
In order to manage your emotions, you have to learn how to raise your value ratio. What's a value ratio? Your value ratio is the economy of consistent upward movement of your self worth.
Here's exactly how to do it: Increase your internal demand and lower your external demand. In other words, require MORE self control and less control over a man. Stop demanding his attention and make a demand of yourself.
When you require more self control, it works to control a man because you will begin to speak the language of attraction. The language of attraction is all about the ability to manage your emotional world which in turn will raise the attraction frequency in your man's mind.
The next time he pulls back and you are temped to push, pay attention to the "pling"…as this is the warning button that tells you you're getting too overcooked and hung up over a man's behavior.
Spend less time fantasizing about frying penises and more time on expanding your internal space. You literally have to force your brain to learn this kind of language as it will sit in the pattern it is used to.
If you're used to complaining to your girlfriends till all you talk about ALL night long is how a man's done you wrong, your brain is learning to be a bitch over men. It's not learning the skill of empowerment.
The part of you that needs to vent will want to take out the knife, but practise turning that around in order to get MORE results from a man's lack of interest like a higher chance of him pushing towards you.
Check out this awesome page with tons of great information I put together that will help you get more of the love you want: http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-him-to-love-you
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Check out: How to Get Him to Love You Here: http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-get-him-to-love-you
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