How to Get the Guy by Matthew Hussey
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At GetTheGuy, we’ve conceived the One Giant Leap challenge as a way of uniting women on a mission, to take back rightful control over their love lives again. When we have control, we get confidence.
When we have confidence we feel like we draw power and satisfaction from our lives. We feel like we have the ability to make things happen. Most of us have areas of our lives where we feel like this, yet, in our love lives, most of us feel like we are subject to a cosmic dice roll; a hope that somehow we will “get lucky” one day and all of our relationship woes will be taken care of.
Over the next six months we want women everywhere to shed this mentality and send their love lives into the next stratosphere: If you are single and can’t seem to meet any new men – This leap year is for you.
If you can’t seem to get that cute guy at the party to come over – This leap year is for you. If you keep getting phone numbers and dates that lead nowhere – This leap year is for you.
If you are stuck in a relationship rut and need to just feel some excitement about your relationship again – This leap year is for you.
Mission 1 – Start three conversations with a complete stranger in the following: 1. A high street coffee shop 2. A bar 3. A queue 4. Apple Store – (guys adore gadgets!) Find any excuse – Ask him to recommend a muffin at the coffee shop, or ask him where he got his jacket (say you are thinking of buying one for your brother/nephew), or tell him you just bought an iPhone and want to know which apps he recommends downloading.
Mission 2 – Become a social host You are going to set up one night a week in which you invite at least 8 people to gather in a single venue. It could be at your house, at a cocktail bar, some kind of hobby/physical activity. It doesn’t matter if they all come; the point is, you start becoming the kind of person who brings other people together. WARNING: This is dangerously effective at boosting your social calendar. Expect to be inundated with invites once you start becoming a social butterfly.
Mission 3 – AT LEAST twice a week, if you see a man you are attracted to, you have to approach and compliment him And when you compliment him, make sure it’s for a something specific instead of saying “OMG, you’re gorgeous!”. Just say, “Look, someone has to tell you this, that jacket really suits you”. Or “I can’t let you leave without telling you what a great smile you have”. The more specific you make it, the more a guy is intrigued to know more. The aim of this exercise is: (a) To make you stretch out of your comfort zone and get used to meeting men you are actually attracted to (anyone can approach people they have no interest in!). (b) To make you less intimidated by looks – Most of us place a massive premium on looks. The more you approach people you find attractive, the less you are going to be thrown off just because of your physical attraction. You’ll actually start to become more discerning and not be fazed just because they happen to be pleasing to the eye.
Mission 4 – At any social event, you WILL talk to five strangers Most of us in life stick with the people we know, and miss out on hundreds of opportunities because of it. When you go to a party or gathering, make an effort to work out those social muscles. You can make this even more effective by making the following resolution: When the conversation falls flat, I will resolve to stay for five more minutes. Why is this resolution so important? Because you get into the habit of digging deeper to find something interesting to say, instead of immediately excusing yourself as soon as you’ve exhausted all the obvious conversations e.g. “How you know the host?” “What do you do for a living?” etc.
Mission 5 – Become a giver Go into a social event/work/gathering and bring cookies or ice cream for everyone. Then promise yourself you are going to give one to the three most attractive men you can find (you can even do this when you are out somewhere social – Just bring something along and tell people you are celebrating by giving out cakes etc.). Once you become generous, it’s an easy move to start conversations with just about anyone.
Mission 6 – Ask for a phone number In the spirit of the leap day tradition, try asking for a guy’s phone number. You wouldn’t believe how many men kick themselves for forgetting to ask for your phone number after a long conversation. So turn the tides and take the initiative yourself. Simply say “You seem fun, we should get our friends together sometime. Give me your number and we’ll arrange something”. Don’t ask, tell!
Mission 7 – If you get invited to fancy dress this year, you HAVE to go. And you HAVE to dress up Why the hell not?
Mission 8 – Send him more clues For the next few months you are going to use this magic phrase: “I love it when a guy…”. Is he wearing shoes you love? Tell him “I love it when a guy wears those boots/shoes/trainers etc.” Has he got a manly beard? Give it a playful tug and say “I love it when a guy has that rugged beard look”. Has he got big muscles? Playfully compare your arms with his and say “Wow, you’ve got me beat in the muscles department. I love a man who puts more hours in the gym than I do”.
Mission 9 – Go to a new venue/activity every week – And aim to speak to three new men when you get there.
Check out Matthew's Top Guide Below:)